Have you ever made a promise to yourself to start something new or make a positive change in your life?
I hope I’m not the only one out there! I know what I need to do and I’m tired of making excuses as to
why I can’t do it. Anybody with me? Maybe you’re like me and guilty of putting off the inevitable while I wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself, or wait for “perfect timing.” Perfect timing never really comes, you know? It’s just perfect when you decide its time!
For example, every New Year thousands of people make a resolution to eat healthy and start exercising. We are committed! We rush out and buy the newest trend of workout shoes, we research the perfect diet and we make a Pinterest board of recipes. For some reason we fall into the trap of thinking we need to look the part before we take our first step. It’s easier to look the part than it is to walk the walk.
This is exactly the way I was living in my five years of spiritual drought. It was long and it was draining. I knew deep down why I didn’t feel close to the Lord, but because I was comfortable and had everything under control, I was satisfied with finding short cuts in my relationship with Him. I remember one particular night I couldn’t sleep and a commercial came on advertising a set of Christian CDs (obviously this was before the music download era). I called the number (probably from my landline) and ordered my first set of worship cds. I thought I would give it a try. I probably went to bed that night feeling like I did something spiritual.
My cds finally came in! I remember being excited and wondered if I would like the songs. I put the first one in and as I pressed play the Lord used the first line of the song to hit me right in the heart! YIKES! The song was called “Word” by Sarah Groves and this one verse was all I needed to realize what I was doing wrong:
While I intend to help myself, my Bible sits upon a shelf.
Years later that verse still pops in my head every time I try to handle something on my own. It is a reminder for me to take every need I will ever have to HIm. His Word is the perfect place to search for any question I could ever ask. Even though I knew my time in God’s Word would give me the peace and freedom I was longing for, I tried to get by without it. I guess I thought I could do it on my own but I was running on empty fumes.
There are a few things that held me back during those beginning years. For starters, I was afraid to change. I was scared of having to change who I was, I was afraid I would be a difference person and I really kinda liked me! What would y family think? What would my friends think? Would I lose the friends I had if I changed my ways? Would I still be fun and would I still be able to have fun? I know these fears may sound silly, but as a young twenty-five year old they were very real to me! I didn’t know the fullness of what it was like to live for the Lord. I thought I had to be perfect or that I had to be all or nothing so I continued to do the bare minimum of what I thought was expected until I was ready to go all in. That, my friend, is mediocre at best and will leave you feeling unfulfilled and miserable.
The other set back is that I was extremely private about my faith. I thought maybe I would share it once I had it all figured out. I believe my personal time with the Lord is necessary and nonnegotiable for every Believer, but the Lord didn’t intend for us to walk this journey alone. He doesn’t want that for me, and He doesn’t want that for you.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
I have no doubt that if I would have had a mentor or a person who was strong in their faith to walk alongside, I would have bounced back on the right path much quicker. If you do not have a friend in Christ to share your journey with, please find one asap. Find someone who can help hold you accountable, find someone you can pray with, find someone you can confide in, find someone you can do life with! Pray and as k the Lord to guide you to the right people. Pray for Godly friends that can speak into your life and encourage you along the way. If you have a person in your life, thank the Lord for them. They are a true gift! Every year my husband, Brian, played baseball I would ask the Lord to give him a Godly man on his team so they could help each other through the season. The Lord never failed in answering that prayer! I have no doubt that He will answer yours.
Something powerful happens when a husband and wife come together in prayer and, in faith, believe for something. God’s Word says “where there is unity, God commands a blessing”and when a husband and wife come together, in prayer, it is a game changer! I have to admit that it isn’t always that easy. Sounds really good, though, right? Initially, I didn’t share much about my faith with Brian. I’m not even sure why but I where he was open and honest about his faith, I was quiet and reserved. (Key word: was). I didn’t know marriage was God’s design and I didn’t realize how important it was for us to come together and serve the Lord as a team. We are so much stronger together than we are apart! It saddens me to think about the years we “lost” but I am certain that God has been so gracious in the last few years. We have grown exponentially! I am so thankful that the Lord protected our marriage before we knew how to protect it.
I had the attitude that my relationship with the Lord was just that….mine. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone and I apologize if what I am about to say is misinterpreted or misunderstood, but the reason I felt my relationship with the Lord was so private is because I really didn’t have one. That was a difficult lesson to learn. Once my relationship began to grow I couldn’t wait to share it. I knew I wasn’t perfect but I knew I had a story to tell. I didn’t know much, but I knew enough and I knew it was time to go all in. I knew something felt real and it would be crazy for me NOT to share it. Now, I have to be honest and say that is not my normal personality to be pushy or shout from the rooftops, but I knew I couldn’t hide and how can you keep Good News hidden? You just can’t! My relationship with Him is anyone’s business who is willing to listen!
Lastly, but what I consider to probably be the biggest thing that held me back from sharing my faith was comfort. Let’s be honest; we like comfort! We go to great lengths to be comfortable: we buy insurance, put money in savings, we try to make wise financial decisions, we plan and prepare but the biggest question is in all of our preparation and all of our planning, have we asked direction from the Lord? Is He part of the big decisions we make as a family? Every good and perfect gift comes from Him and is for Him! Sure, we may have possession of it and have been entrusted with it, but ultimately it all belongs to Him. It was created by Him and for Him.
I almost get a little nervous when we get to that place where we are “comfortable.” if I’m comfortable that usually means I’m not fully relying on the Lord to direct my steps. I think that is what contributed to my spiritual drought. I was comfortable and in control. Did you get that? I was comfortable and I was in control. To be completely honest, it was difficult to look forward and think about Brian’s career ending and having to life a somewhat “normal” life. Our life in basebal kept us so uncomfortable that we had no choice but to put all of our faith in the Lord for what was next. I wasn’t sure how we would navigate this new life, not did I fully trust myself to let Him guide us in every decision. I think God care more that we are growing that if we are comfortable. I believe He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but even more important is that those desires lead us straight to Him. Even my greatest dreams here on Earth can never compare to an eternity in heaven with Him. Ultimately, that is what really matters.
It is my hope that I rely on Him for everything. Sometimes I’m get it and sometimes I fail but I will never stop trying. I have seen too many blessings when I do things His way. So be encouraged with this, if you are in the middle of a trial, don’t lose heart! I would even encourage you to smile and know that you are growing. You are exactly where He wants you. If you surrender to Him and allow Him full access, He will mold and shape you into all that He wants you to be. I believe there is something awesome right around the corner! Some of you may be sitting in that “comfortable” chair. It might be time to ask Him to reveal to you if there is something keeping you that chair! I have found that the times of true brokenness came when I didn’t even realize I needed to be broken or better yet, it was always in an area where I didn’t think I had an issue. God has a way of revealing those things to us when we can’t seen them for ourselves.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. James 1:2
So, have a I changed? I sure hope so and I sure hope the Lord agrees. I hope and pray I never stop changing into the person He designed me to be. Was it hard? Only when I tried to do it without Him. Did I lose friends? I hope not although some might think I’m crazy. I’ve gained more friends and have more Godly women in my circle than I could have ever dreamed of. What does my family think? The Lord continues to wow me at how faithful He is through my family. He has answered prayers that only He could do.
I have had may of you ask about good reading materials or devotionals that have helped me along the way. I am by no means the most qualified, but I can share what has helped me. I truly believe the Lord empowers and uses writers and speakers to help His people. I would love to share some resources but PLEASE hear my heart when I say the best book you could ever read is the Bible! Find a Bible that you can understand. The Message Bible is great for new Believers. There is also a Study Bible that will break down stories for you and give commentary at the bottom of the page. Being in the Word is the most important piece of the puzzle. Christian books and Bible Studies are helpful and cannot be discounted, but the Word of God is life and peace!
Here is how I started spending time in the Bible:
PROVERBS
Proverbs is a book of wisdom. There are thirty-one chapters which gives you the opportunity to read one a day. I Loe the saying “A Proverb of the Day keeps the devil away!” On the first day of the month, read Proverbs 1. One the 2nd, read Proverbs 2. You get the idea… you could read them twelve times a year and still not scratch the surface to all that is packed in those chapters! I especially love Proverbs 31. It is an awesome prayer to pray over yourself, your husband and your children. It speaks of a Godly man who deserves the most incredible woman. I love praying scriptures over our marriage and I also pray these things over our children for their future spouses. It is never too early to ask!
THE NEW TESTAMENT
I began in the New Testament because honestly, the Old Testament was a bit daunting. I needed someone who could explain it and I was such a new Christian I was not confident that I could even understand it. I love the entire New Testament but the Book of James is short and straight to the heart on what it means to live a Christian life.
MEMORIZING SCRIPTURE
Any time a scripture stood out to me I would write it down. If there was one that fit exactly what I needed at the time I would memorize it. Using the Word of God to help you through something is the most powerful weapon you could have.
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11
If you read in Matthew 4:1-11, you will see that Jesus himself fought the temptation of the devil with scripture! If Jesus, being the Son of God, used the Word of God as a weapon how much more should we?
DAILY DEVOTIONAL
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is hands down my favorite devotional. It was given to be over four years ago and has been such a gift. I usually keep extra copies on hand so I can give the away. It never fails me and everyday I feel like He is speaking directly to me. I have read it every year and it seems new and perfect every single time! Brian also read it, so it is great for a male or female. There is now an edition of Jesus Calling for children that I would recommend as well.
BOOKS
Stormie Omartian has several great Best Sellers. Two of my favorites that have specifically grown my prayer life are The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent.
Both books are easy reads that you will not want to just read through. A chapter at at time or a chapter a day is the best way to navigate through those books. Each chapter covers a different prayer topic, followed by a powerful pray that you can pray over your life, your spouse’s life or your children. I read both years ago but I marked prayers in them that I revisit from time to time on certain topics.
Another great book for all marriages is Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.
If you are looking for a Bible Study that can be used individually or as a small group, I would recommend Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. It is a great resource for busy women who try to be all things! (Can you relate?)
Another book that helped shape my prayer life is Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.
If you like fiction, Francine Rivers is an unbelievably gifted author who takes biblical stories and turns them into some of the most beautiful and powerful novels you will ever read! I have read quite a few of her books and I love how she paints the picture of what it was like to live in biblical times. I love the perspective she brings and how the stories come alive when I go back and read them in my Bible. If you enjoy reading, you will not be able to put her books down. Did I tell you that I never really liked to read? Not the case with her books! Redeeming Love, The Mark of the Lion trilogy and A Lineage of Grace are some of her best.
I truly hope these references will help some of you. I have more, but these stand out to me the most.
So, how do I get out of the trenches nowadays? As we know, life always brings them but now I am prepared because I spend time daily in His Word. I know, it wounds to easy, right? Sometimes I feel like He says so much to me and other days I get up feeling like I only “got” a little but I know that some is always better than none! To be honest, I believe if you are spending time daily in the Bible and meditating on His Word, the trenches of life do not catch you off guard.
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
He warns us that we will have trouble, but He also assures us that we are not alone!
Finding a church, finding a Small Group or a Bible Study was a lifeline for me! This is where I started to make Godly friends and the influences I needed. If you already have a church home I would encourage you to get as involved as you can! Where can you help? What do you enjoy? Usually the giftings He has given you will fit into an area where you can serve. If you do not have a church home pray that God would lead you to the right one. You will know when it’s the right fit! Do not give up and stay committed to finding a place to call home. Moving so many times through the years, I know all too well how scary it can be visiting a church for the first time, especially when you have children involved. It makes it easy to make excuses of why it just isn’t working. I promise, the reward will last longer than the initial feelings of discomfort.
My prayer for today:
Lord, in times of trial and in times of comfort, your Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path! Give us a burning desire to KNOW You, reveal to us the mysteries of Your Word. Speak to us individually what it is that You want us to see. Guide me! Use me! I ask all these things in Jesus’ name.
Your word is lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
Wow! I am stiiting at my computer totally in awe of your amazing writing ability. I really only looked at this page to hopefully see some new pictures of your beautiful babies but this was so much more than I expected. Your way with words and your message was something I need to hear today…thank you! I hope that you guys are doing well and would love to see you again soon…not just on Facebook or a blog either! Thanks! – Britton
Love, love Sara Groves! She always speaks to me — or rather, the Lord speaks to me through her music. I just found you through Wendy Lane’s link on Facebook. You’re doing an awesome thing. I should interview you for my blog!
As a boy mom, when I saw the name of your site, I thought, “Cool. My boys play, I pray.” A great concept for moms to hang on to!!
WOW!! You are an amazing writer. God certainly gave you a gift and you have not let him down.
I came upon your website somewhat by chance, but I am so glad I did. As someone who made a much needed, and overdue, professional change this post really spoke to me.
After reading your first paragraph I found myself nodding my head and speaking out loud in agreement. I knew I had to continue reading.
Your journey back to God sounds very similar to mine, and its peaceful knowing I am not alone in my journey.
Thank you for bringing peace and joy to my day.
Take care and God Bless!!
Jenn